


ashes, ashes

by rosekings



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, and also ferris wheels, summer of 1985, this is very gentle and soft and full of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 20:36:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19384216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosekings/pseuds/rosekings
Summary: “Oh, wow,” she breathes, pulling him from his reverie. They’ve stopped at the very top of the Ferris wheel and spread out around them is Hawkins, its lights glittering against the night sky, all of it cast in a crescent of silver moonlight. It’s an impressive sight but when Mike looks at the wonder on El’s face as she takes it all in, everything else immediately pales in comparison. A multitude of stars and constellations dot the sky, reflecting in her eyes, but all Mike can see is her. She is dazzling, magnificent, ethereal - and she’s his.“I love it up here,” she says, glancing at him before looking around again. Her smile radiates pure happiness and it echoes deep in Mike’s heart. Ashes, ashes. He’s burning.





	ashes, ashes

**Author's Note:**

> a scene that takes place in the beginning of s3, which I know will be canon-divergent in just a week (!!!!) but for now is completely canon-compliant!

“What about the Ferris wheel?” Mike asks as he and El stand in the center of the summer carnival – the Fun Fair, as the mayor called it during his speech earlier in the evening. Night has fallen on the fair’s very first day in Hawkins and now everything is bright and loud and lively. Rainbows of flashing lights shimmer and dance, joyous laughter rings out from the hundreds of people milling around, and the thick, sweet scent of cotton candy and funnel cake wafts through the air. With cicadas buzzing in the trees beyond the fairgrounds and the temperature just the right combination of summer’s heat and evening’s chill, it’s a perfect night.

All of it, though, would be utterly meaningless if not for the girl standing by Mike’s side. He looks over at El – she doesn’t seem to have heard his suggestion about the Ferris wheel at all. Instead she’s gazing wide-eyed around the carnival, absorbing it all bit by bit. Mike’s heart swells just by _watching_ her. It’s almost painful to look at her; she’s so _beautiful,_ always, and especially now, with the rainbow lights dancing over her cheeks and lighting up her eyes. Her sweet, pink lips that Mike will _never_ grow tired of kissing are pulled up in a faint smile as she slowly turns in a circle, awe painted across her face. She’s wearing her hair loose, the soft waves brushing her shoulders, and Mike barely holds himself back from reaching up right then and there and running his hand through it. He remembers just yesterday, when she fell asleep on the couch while they were watching a movie and he was able to take all the time in the world to stroke her hair, hold her delicate hand, softly run his thumb over her knuckles. He marveled for hours at how she was truly _there_ – he hasn’t been able to stop doing this ever since he got her back. She was there with him then, at the lowest lows of last autumn, and she’s here with him now, breathing and living and _alive,_ her golden heart beating and her silver soul glowing. 

He loves her. Of this, he’s certain. He loves her more and more with every second that passes, every time their eyes meet, every kiss and every laugh and every word. He just hasn’t had the courage to tell her yet. 

A bit of powdered sugar from the funnel cake they shared earlier dusts the corner of her mouth and Mike, unable to help the ache in his heart and the ever-present pull he has towards her, softly brushes it away with his knuckle. She blinks, her priceless attention and her endless, sparkling eyes immediately focusing on him. 

“Hey,” he says with a small smile, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. Her cheeks go pink and her smile grows into something radiant and oh, how Mike loves her. _Tell her, you idiot. She deserves to know._

“Hi,” she says, her smile no longer as shy as it was when they first got back to each other and started this thing known as a relationship. It was hesitant back then, which Mike thinks was mostly his fault because all he could do was stare at her and wonder if she was real or just a ghost that his grief-stricken mind created for him. But they got past it, partly because El couldn’t stop kissing him whenever she had the chance (definitely _not_ an issue) and because all Mike wanted to do for the rest of eternity was be with her, and he couldn’t do that if they were blushing and awkwardly stammering over their words every time they looked at each other. Of course, sometimes she’ll do something adorable like sliding wildflowers into Mike’s hair or enthusing about her soap operas, or something unbelievable like floating just a few inches off the floor so she can kiss him, and when those things happen, he melts into a clumsy, stuttering idiot. But he’s okay with that, of course he is. He wouldn’t want it any other way. And in any case, things are much smoother and more relaxed now, though Hopper might not be too overjoyed about it.

Mike has found out so much more about love in the last six months than he ever thought he would. _You’re fourteen,_ they say. _You can’t be in love so young._ If only they knew. If only _she_ knew. Sometimes he thinks he loves her so much he’s going to burn to ashes with the intensity of it. 

“Do you wanna go on the Ferris wheel?” he asks her again now, gesturing to the conglomeration of steel and colorful lights and swinging chairs towering nearby. “We’ve still got plenty of tickets left.”

El turns her gaze to it and then grins at him. “ _Yes,_ I want to! Yes, yes, yes –” Without wasting any more time, she grabs his hand and starts dragging him towards it. Mike can’t help his laughter at her eagerness – he’s so lucky. So, so lucky.

After a minute in line, the entirety of which El spends talking animatedly to him about the mall trip she and Max have planned tomorrow, Mike gives two tickets to the operator and then he follows El into the red, yellow, and white striped chair waiting for them. It’s a two-person chair, just wide enough for them to sit comfortably but close enough for him to be reassured that she’s still right there next to him. The operator latches the gate once they’re in and the wheel cranks up again, moving clockwise so that all they can see at first, as they ride towards the top, is the crisscrossing internal metal structure of the wheel and then everything directly to their left and right.

“Do they do this every year?” El asks, watching the carnival recede below them. 

“Not this one. The new mayor made this up just this year, but usually there’s some kind of Christmas festival or Easter parade,” Mike explains. El turns to look at him, still smiling wide.

“Will you show me them, when they come?”

As if he could say no. As if he would ever refuse her or turn down the chance to spend time with her. “Of course I will.”

She grins again and takes his hand, holding it firmly in her lap as she gazes out at Hawkins while the Ferris wheel takes them higher. Mike can’t keep his eyes off her. They’ve been through so much, come so close to permanent loss. He knows that if something were to happen to her again, he wouldn’t be able to handle it. Where she goes, he will always go, from now on until the end of everything, and he doesn’t care whether their final destination is home or school or the Upside-Down or something darker and farther away. He _will not_ lose her. Maybe that makes him crazy or stupid or hopeless or all three, but as he watches her right now, her hand warm and sure in his, he’s never felt a stronger truth. It’s laced in his bones and running in his veins and carved onto his heart. 

_Tell her, Mike. Just tell her._

What if he doesn’t get the chance again? What if fate decides to tear them away once more? What if, after tonight, everything falls to pieces and it’s too late? _At least she’ll know,_ he thinks. _She has to know._

“Oh, wow,” she breathes, pulling him from his reverie. They’ve stopped at the very top of the wheel and spread out around them is Hawkins, its lights glittering against the night sky. Directly below is the carnival, and then surrounding the fairgrounds is a thick forest with the town lying beyond, all of it cast in a crescent of silver moonlight. It’s an impressive sight but when Mike looks at the wonder on El’s face as she takes it all in, everything else immediately pales in comparison. A multitude of stars and constellations dot the sky, reflecting in her eyes, but all Mike can see is her. She is dazzling, magnificent, ethereal - and she’s _his._

“I love it up here,” she says, glancing at him before looking around again. Her smile radiates pure happiness and it echoes deep in Mike’s heart. _Ashes, ashes._ He’s burning. 

“It’s pretty cool, isn’t it?”

She nods, and when the Ferris wheel slides back into motion a few moments later, she turns to him. “Thank you, Mike,” she says gently. She raises her free hand to cup his cheek and he’s frozen, paralyzed by her gaze full of starlight, and then his eyes flicker shut and her lips meet his. He feels her eyelashes flutter against his cheeks and his heart stutters. Everything is golden. She is so soft, so sweet, her kiss full of sunshine and courage and spirit and friendship and time. She holds an entire universe within her – as long as Mike has her, he has the world. She is all he needs and all he will ever want. 

He just hopes she feels the same way.

“El…” he whispers once they pull apart, their noses still touching. She opens her eyes, and he has to swallow the lump of emotion in his throat. 

“Mike,” she says simply, years of memories contained within his name. _Tell her._

The words are right there on his tongue. They’ve been there for months now; never has he doubted them. Saying them will be just like stating a fact: the sky is blue, the sun is a star, Mike Wheeler loves El Hopper with every ounce of his being. It’s an irrefutable truth and there’s no better time than now. He loves her, and he’s pretty sure she loves him, and that’s all there is to it. 

He takes a small breath, looking into El’s expectant eyes. “El, I lo–“

A sudden jarring screech sends them flying apart and El’s hand clenches Mike’s almost painfully. They’re nearly to the bottom of the wheel; all that lies in front of them for miles and miles is the dense forest where the sound came from, the colorful fair lights glancing and flashing off the closest trees. The wind picks up out of nowhere, sending the Ferris wheel chairs rocking and the forest rustling and shaking as the gale tears through it. Mike stares into the dark, his heart pounding staccato against his chest, all of his thoughts completely scattered. He looks over at El. She’s unhurt, albeit horrified.

“What _was_ that?” he asks her even though he already knows the answer. 

And there it is again, unmistakable and drawing everyone’s attention to the woods: a high-pitched, monstrous howl full of malice and promised vengeance. A cold, dead weight drops into Mike’s stomach, chills streaking up and down his spine. 

“It’s here,” El says flatly, her hand tight around Mike’s as her eyes roam the forest, searching for the source. He can feel her rapid pulse where their wrists press together. 

Mike shakes his head. It’s too soon. He needs more time with her before the world implodes again. “It can’t be. It _can’t._ ” 

“It is.” El looks at him intently, her euphoria from moments ago now gone and replaced with a well of sadness in her eyes. There’s a hardness to her expression, a sense of duty and purpose despite how much she might not want that burden. His throat closes up, his chest packed tight with cotton. This isn’t _right._ He feels like he’s holding on to a fraying rope about to snap. “We need to go, Mike,” she says.

“I just got you back,” he whispers, his breath ragged. He doesn’t want to accept this at all. He wants to stay in this chair with her forever, content in the knowledge that she’s safe, both of them too high up for things like mortality and loss and pain to touch them.

She cups his face with both hands and he can see in her eyes that even though she doesn’t want to leave either, she’s _begging_ him to understand. “I know, Mike. But we _have to go._ ”

Finally, Mike nods, ashes in his heart. Where she goes, he goes. His love will have to wait. It can’t, but it will.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! find me on tumblr, @dustinhendrsn


End file.
